Entry: 12 -Quick rant of today.Bad things that makes you see good stuff in life.

Hi there...yes you, you that give me plus on the goolge plus. Mind showing yourself on the coments please ? I want to say thank you. 

Today my Bro makes ....29....ah , Im 20 just like you , not so big now hû? XD 

I finaly went to the massagist, to fix my back...looks like I had a bad posture... BAD DANIELA BAD! XDDDD 

And thats where the good thing, emotional meaning it , came from.

Every body that knows me in real life knows one thing. I dont let any guy touch me , our I didnt , Now I let it more, like hugs and stuff, but I didnt. 

And it wasent just becouse of Aspergers. 

When I had the massage schedule I toght to my self, this, is going to be hard, becouse the pain its in my back and im going to be exposed. 

Aniway. when I got there I saw that he was allmost the same age as me ....almost he was older, way older, but if he must had got out of his tweenties our is in the late ones. 

And Im just like... nervous becouse I knew he was foifn to be young...but I wasent expecting him. 

In my mind someone with 40 years old was a good thing becouse he was acostumed at seing people exposed ,and stuff like that... 

Weeel... 

I just have to say one thing. I was nervous but, This all experience told me something. 

Being touched, its okay. 

And there is nothing wrong with it if both are okay with it, I DIDNT DO ANITHING SEXUAL NOR DID I FELT THAT WAY DONT BE A PERV!!

But to my 11 year old self, that ment a lot. 

Its okay if you´re having fun, and the other person, too, and its kinda reasuring, and conforting. 

To my 11 year old I just have to say something. Dont be afraid of someone that loves you.´

´

NOW BEFORE YOU THINK IM A TOTAL PERV!

I want you to put your self in my shoes and think with me, I only learn most of the stuff troght experience, and touching was not something I would let someone do, let alone be exposed. So I do belive this was God telling me, hey, this is wath a touch feels like between 2 people that respect each other. It wasent sexual, no way at all it was professional, but, the fact that I was brave enogh to got exposed and the fact that I was actualy having fun, got me thinking, that maybe, if 2 people respect each other,maybe it will be something like this. I do belive God made me realize that.

I do know you guys are thinking that I´m crazy but someday you will know what I´m talking about. 
And keep in mind that this is a diarie so, its normal to put this random stuff here sometimes. 

One day people shall know what the 11 year old me went troght :)